Sadly, bullying has been endemic in schools as far back as Tom Brown’s Schooldays and no doubt long before. Whether it is the colour of your skin or your hair (we redheads have had our fair share), the fact that you are too tall/too small/too fat/too thin, speak with a lisp or stutter – anything that sets you apart from the commonality is enough for the bullies to latch on to. And while being bullied can have a profound psychological effect on some children lasting through their lives, being bullied because you have a food allergy adds an extra layer of fear (and therefore of satisfaction for the bully) in that it could cause you to have an allergic reaction – or even to die.
More than one study (see this one in Pediatrics) suggest that around 30% of school children with allergies get bullied but that only around half of them tell their parents. And this bullying can be anything from just taunting with ‘forbidden’ foods to actually forcing the allergic child to touch or eat their food allergen ‘to see what happens’.
A recent NYT blog cover the problem in some detail and points up an excellent way in which the bullying can be tackled:
‘ Miles’s understanding teacher nipped the problem in the bud by talking to the yeller about what it would be like if he could not eat his favourite food (bad), or got teased about it (worse), or had to go to the hospital if he ate it (until then, that outcome was inconceivable).’
Surely, as always, the the most successful approach lies in education and understanding. Even bullies have imagination and if only their imagination can be engaged sufficiently to put themselves in the shoes of the bullied, the odds on them continuing to bully are dramatically shortened.
It is terrifying, I got bullied at school for being thin and having eczema, now it seems being thin is cool but add social media into the mix and it’s pretty horrible for allergy kids. I wrote about this from an adults perspective, it’s far more subtle but all those little comments, snidey references to the difficult one, the freak… Your skin looks awful… Esp. In restaurants, the raised eyebrows… The sighs. It can be difficult at work because you’re the one who refuses the tea run and instead gets your own after wiping down the milk etc. the pizza ordered when working late… refusing the Friday Indian meal… It just makes you stand out as not joining in and very few people take the time to find out why. It doesn’t stop when you grow up but children can be and often are very cruel. To think that someone could die because of bullies is awful. No idea how to fix it, but for me, the allergy gave me some popularity at school when I vomited on the dinner ladies feet who had just forced me to eat up my peanuts! She never made me eat them again! She was such a tyrant dinner lady that one.
Of course, you are so right – the bullying doe snot stop at school – it is just that at least some adults have got a better handle on how to cope with it – or at least not to show how much it hurts. And well done you for throwing up over the dinner lady!!!
Ha, love the throwing up bit, Ruth. Would make you so cool with the other kids!
I wasn’t bullied for allergy but this did make me think of my school days actually. I used to suffer a lot with headaches, pains in my legs and stomach cramps when I was about 7-10. I remember spending a lot of time in the ‘sick room’ at my middle school. I had quite a traumatic childhood and the teachers constantly put it down to attention-seeking and stress. I thought about it the other day and realised it was probably the coeliac disease which then went undiagnosed until my 40s! Therein lies the danger of ignoring what children say. I’m sure the circumstances didn’t help, but I wish I had been taken more seriously and I wouldn’t have my health in the state it is now!